Continuing on the journey of forgivenesss…For the person giving it, please know…forgiveness does not mean that you are stupid, or that you are letting somebody continue to hurt you. You are allowed to set up boundaries, you are allowed to ease back into that relationship, you are allowed to do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable without hurting the other person in return. It means that you are a loving person, who is also willing to work on yourself as well as that relationship.
For the person withholding it, please know…the person that is asking forgiveness, they cannot feel worse about themselves than they already do. There is no need go reduce their lives to a litany of what they have done. They already know this. This is the reason they are asking for your forgiveness. Please give them credit for asking, it is incredibly humbling for them to do so, and not at all easy. If you aren’t ready, you can say you’re not ready. This doesn’t mean there can be no relationship. I would ask you, though, why are you holding onto it? The feelings of anger, resentment and hurt damage you much more than anybody else. I would also ask you, where would you be if every time you hurt another (whether they were aware of it or not), it was held against you?
As we all know, forgiveness can be tough on everybody. We have all been on both sides of the fence at different times in our lives. Think how good our lives would be if we could ask for it when necessary, and give it freely when needed. What could your relationships look like if you truly incorporated that one word? I’m thinking love and acceptance all around.